My face of Audi

In my humble design opinion, this is the future face of Audi.
I sketched it, so Wolfgang Egger or Stefan Sielaff, this is how they should look from now on.....

Alloy Damage!

Kolo, like all Audi A2's, doesn't really suit a bodykit. Plus, I don't actually like them, on any car. Yes SouferKa, as a SportKa, could be argued has one, but it's a factory fit and an integral design by Ford. But yes, bar a Lancia Intergrale, I don't like them.

So, like many A2 owners, the only way to lift our A2 away from other A2s, is to fit a nice set of alloys. So, my choice, a set of 17'' Audi Allroad (on Toyo Proxes Wet-Weathers). It's harder for us A2OC guys too, as we know the limits in wheel dimensions and offsets the A2 can roll on without damaging the car and if any left, the manufacturers warranty. Plus, the car was only available in a small range of body colours (met black, denim blue met, met silver of course, red, and as part of the weird looking run out 'color' model: neon blue, bright red and mustard yellow, all with black body trim). So wheels are really the only way to go.

It's odd for non A2 fans to get it; to customise such an anodyne car as an Audi, but as mentioned before, an A2 is not a normal Deutsch-mobil, it's got character, and as an owner, you want to make your version an individual version.

So, as S L comes back for her daily commute to work to report alloy damage. She might as well have broken my right leg. In truth, it didn't get me as much as I thought, and she thought, it would. I think it's one of those things that was going to happen, plus I'd already clipped the same wheel months earlier, to which I kicked myself in the nuts for already. Maybe if it was a different wheel? Anyway, it wasn't her fault. No, no, it wasn't. A similar thing happened when I was in the car too. Just passed the new St Mirren's stadium, the road narrows before a T-junction. taxis, coming the other way, run wide and force cars coming the other way onto the pavement. I say taxis, because they don't give two hoots about others at this junction, it's shocking. Plus there has been a number of taxi v taxi accidents there, hee hee.

So it all got me thinking....

....I've seen these wheel-proctors advertised in the back of Topgear magazine, £28.99 plus £6.95 P&P for 4 17'' grey rim protectors. A bit steep for four plastic rims only 80mm thick. You could, if you so inclined, make these a statement in their own right and get them in red, or gold, or make your wheels look smaller and get them in black. Hmm, I'll just get the grey I think. Maybe another time, I'll vote red.

But then, if I add £26.99 for the Sportka's 16"s, which doesn't increase the P&P, it might just save SL and I a £60+ trip to the wheel repairers. And it is also of note, every time the wheels get damaged, the more likely they are to corrode, even if they get repaired and, at rim, get weaker as well.

But won't these graze the wheels themselves? In the video, they do line the wheel with masking tape, but that can't stay under the protector, can it? Maybe a call is needed.

The wheelprotectors, or as they're actually called; wheelsprotector, do have guarantee against future wheel scuffing, but lets not try that one out, 'ey.

But really, £30+ is a lot of money to spend per car, even if it is preventative. But it might just prove worth it as the stadium corner is a part of the Paisley commuter rat-run and thus, it might not be the last time we're forced to kerb either of the cars. I might, as a result of getting these things, park closer than 40cm from the kerb. I'll keep you posted.

Time to ressurect the French Project?

The weather's getting better; no snow, less rain. Plus, longer days, might even make it out before the traffic gets a hold on the roads?

I do have to watch out for the monster pot holes and the numerous roadworks too, which litter the run through Glasgow at the moment. All post Frozen Britain.

Maybe do it in stages? Maybe go around Saracen Street too. Maybe go and find more landmarks visible from a car?

Hmm, it might get fun again!

This time, it'll be in SouferKa as post serviced Kolo is doing the honest commuter run to Paisley and back with SL at the moment.

Kolo returns from the garage.

It has been three days since I last saw my little Audi A2.
Admittedly, today, the third day, the car was ready this morning, so it's really just two and a half.

Kolo has a strange relationship with SL. Whenever she borrows the A2 for any amount of time, whether a day or an hour, she brings the car back with some issue or other. We (Kolo and I) joked that SL can't use the Audi any more and I shouldn't drive the SportKa either.
As reported a few posts ago, the A2, after a brilliant tour of duty during the Big Freeze, or whatever that cold snap was labelled, the misfire became a major thorn in the side. So much so, the car couldn't even get above 25mph, it was also sounding like a dumper-truck. I was convinced it was down two cylinders to just the one pot, hence the dumper-truck like idle, which was visibly rocking the car on it's wheels when at traffic lights.

After dropping the ailing car off at Clydebank's AudiVW Repair Centre on Wednesday morning, I recieved a call an hour later. The mechanic had plugged in his diagnostic laptop and reported the numerous warnings. 1, cylinder #1 has a major fault, 2, the turbo is reporting a loss of pressure, 3, ABS brake issue. The mechanic went on to say that issue 2 might be to do with issue 1 and thus fixing the injector was the first port of call, even before the Audi B service.

A day later, another call, injector coil replaced with two and a half hours labour, issue 2 resolved too. But the ABS warning was due to a need to replace both front discs and pads. Hmm, with the major service and injector repair coming in at about £400, the brakes can wait.

It's starting to look like it might be a cheap year for Kolo after this visit, I mean. What else can go wrong, well after the brakes? In the year and four months that I've had the privilege of this little aluminium machine, it's had a number of major jobs done under the bonnet; cam-belt change, fuel pump in tank and high pressure fuel pump on engine, intercooler replaced and finally, front door hinges replaced too. Like I said, what else is there? Touch wood, or aluminium in this case, nothing else.

The mechanic said the brake replacement wasn't urgent but should be done this year. Well, it is still January. I'll do it when the dashboard light comes on, but with SL driving it tomorrow, it'll when she comes back then.

Ferrari v Mclaren, Round #1

Ferrari are already, just after one day, on the back foot.

Mclaren, with advice from the FIA, have a new double floor diffuser for 2010.
The Ferrari F10, launched the day before the Mclaren MP4-25, does without the double diffuser, with designers and bosses of the Italian team still thinking they're illegal.

Karma Comedian

It would seem that Kolo and I maybe cursed. Well, Kolo and my wallet.
Yes, during the dark, cold Frozen Britain of weeks gone, Kolo has been exceptional in proving safe, dependable transport to my aspiring nurse wife; SL Bartlett. But during the subsequent thraw, it's all gone wrong for the little aluminium horse. Very wrong.

You see, about November time, Kolo developed a bit of a misfire. Nothing that would last more than a second or so, just every now and then.
It turns out, according to the A2oc's Mike Skipton, to be a cheap switch or relay that controls the injectors. This thingy sits in the engine bay somewhere near all the hot bits and after five or so years, it becomes a part to replace.

Well, its now time to replace it.

During the last week, during this Big Thraw, the A2's misfire became a real feature. From a thing that barely raised it's head to a hazard at junctions in just three months. Reducing the engine to just 2 cylinders, which is almost a scooter.

It's now time to service the wounded soldier anyway, so it's forced my hand and it'll go away on Wednesday, instead of Easter or some other time in the future. Anyway this time, it to AudiVW Repair, which strangely, is in Clydebank, although a different part, to the 'fix on thing, break another' A for Audi.

Lets hope they're better. At £195 for a major service on a 3cylinder TDI A2, they better be. Still, it's not the £300+ at a dealership.


(Kolo, fore, and SouferKa, background, in BBCs Frozen Britain)

When in LA, I'll be driving...

...a car with these headlights: (c'mon, this is cool.)
 

'The '65 Riv'

When in LA, I'll be driving a '65 Riviera...

...when I actually get to LA

I mean, if it's good enough for...

Hey, I might even have enough to get this '65 riv (scroll down, passed the bike) but not this one sadly, wrong colour anyway

Oh, I'd forgotten about BD03 OZN

'See, it ain't that bad!'

(M6 southbound south of Carlisle)

Oh, I'd forgotten about BD03 OZN

Yes, maybe it was an over reaction about a silly little thing like parking on a pavement, between two zebra crossings, but....

....is it me, or has everyone forgotten how to drive on motorways?

Over the holiday period, travelling from Glasgow to Eastbourne via Rugby and then back with SL and myself at the wheel of Kolo, we covered 1078 miles. The first leg down to the Rugby midpoint was driven in snow and the much hyped UK winter white out. It wasn't too bad. Yes the third, overtaking lane on the motorway wasn't always gritted and we'd forgotten that it's the snow falling, blocking vision that's an added hazard, not just the white (and black) stuff on the road that can cause a call to the insurance company. Yet after all that was said and done, it was other motorway users than caused the most alarm.

You see, when was it, that grey-haired old men lost all memory of driving in the snow? In fact, when had everyone lost the ability to override their sat-navs with common sense? When TomTom says keep right at a junction on a motorway, it doesn't mean;
'by all means, forget your mirrors and dive into the third, fast lane and sit there for 7 miles until next instructed to do something next!'
Yes, driving in the snow is hazardous but being confident and physically able to look over both shoulders without risk of spinal injury, I drive quickly but not stupidly in bad weather. That does require, just like in the dry, to change lanes. Oh yes, it's not a lottery; you don't pick a lane then use only that one lane for the whole 500 miles of your journey. No, you keep left if there's nothing else there, then if you see something slower in the left lane, you, with plenty of time, move to the right, to the next available lane, sometimes to the most right hand lane if there is another vehicle overtaking a slower vehicle already. And then return the the most left available lane once cleared of slower traffic.
Simple.
But it isn't. One problem is the 'with plenty of time' business. When I say that, I don't mean, 'oh, yep, with my bi-noc-u-lars (in the Guy Richie Snatch way of saying it) I can just about see a lorry on the horizon' plenty of time. Nor do I mean in the, 'look our numberplates are kissing' sense either. There is the 'common' sense of, 'yep, look in my mirrors Maureen, nothing there, indicate right, overtake, indicate left, move back. Yes it's a tad nerdy and oh so anal but that's how you use the motorway. You don't mis-use your sky+ box by balancing it on a pogo stick, no, you put it on a table next to open liquid containers.
It's common sense!
An isn't common sense one of the national traits we Brits pride ourselves on?
Or has the Dutch firm of sat-nav makers stolen that off us?
No, they have plenty of common sense and savvy themselves, that's why their architecture and urban design is about 25 years ahead of ours.

Maybe it's a translation thing, maybe TomTom doesn't realise that 'keep right' and the worst instruction; 'keep in the right hand lane' has been taken so literary. Remember two things, the Dutch, like all of Europe drive on the right and of course, language. But maybe they didn't see how thick we Brits have all become.

They didn't see the whole, 'take the next available left (or right)' thing, when even taxi drivers went onto railway lines, ponds, private driveways and random posts and street furniture. The taxi driver's worry me the most, as it's their living to drive and to know where they're going. What next, surgeons with a laptop in front of them when they operate. Killing patients because they've lost the ability to think on their feet and can only do what the computer says.

One grumpy old man on tele said it well, 'it's a sat-nav, not a computer-game, you can still see out of the windows, you should know it's a pond before you drive into it!'
Here, here. Yes, I might be only 24, cough, but really, I don't want to be injured or killed by someone who can't think without the voice of the little colour touch screen telling them what to do next.

Only 30 minutes separated me from an accident at my junction of the M8, when someone entered the motorway the wrong way, travelling in the wrong direction and taking out three other cars before a head on smash killed the old man but injured terribly the driver and passenger of the other car.
This as at 11pm at night too, just think, what if it was rush hour.

Oh this so isn't the way I wanted to start the new year, or in fact, the new decade. Yet just because it's gone midnight a couple of nights ago, doesn't mean it's all changed on the roads.
If only it had.

BD03 OZN

An idiot finds the only bit of pavement at the Oxford Services on the M40 at 6:40pm on the 29th of December 2009.
It makes my blood boil, it's completely another level of f**k-wit.

All the other cars came after, having to park around this Focus saloon with a Daily Express on the passenger seat. That's right, the carpark was near empty when this d**khead decided to park on the pavement between two zebra crossings.

I mean, how much do you have to crave KFC to park there? Maybe they were suffering from too-many-days-old turkey sandwiches. Hope it's that rather than the KFC thing, I don't like the idea of sharing a rainy motorway with a selfish junk-food eating devoid. I hope they shat themselves.

Grrrrrr

When I'm back in Glasgow, I'll write...

Blog and bother:

Kolo and the Lamborghini stereo
Kolo and the fog lights of others
Kolo and all the neighbours cars, with all the pictures
The new Opel/Vauxhall Astra  v the older but better looking Astra

There's more too, this is just the back log!

Audi design, cautionary not revolutionary

Compare the new A8 against the Sportback concept upon which it was 'based'.

A8 above, Concept below

Audi design, cautionary not revolutionary

The original A8 (D2)

 

The second A8 (D3) pre and post facelift

 

The 'new' A8 (D4 dog)

Audi design, cautionary not revolutionary

The new Audi A8 was unveiled three days ago on Monday 30th of December 2009.

There has been two generations of the A8 until Sunday gone. The original 'D2' replaced the V8 model in 1994. The D2 was the start of the revolution that put Audi on the modern automotive map. Finally elbowing up to the BMW and Mercedes levels of prestige. This was especially the case in the UK where Audi sales and it image has constantly been on the up since this year.

The D2 was a flagship in design and importantly for the Ingolstadt company it was a showcase for their new Audi Space Frame (ASF). The ASF was an aluminium space-frame and monocoque structure. The use of aluminium in this way was a huge leap forward, not just for Audi but for the automotive industry as a whole. The D2 highlighted Audi's ambition to be at the forefront of technology and design. A fresh take on the BMW and Mercedes formula with a better result.


To look at the original D2 A8 from 1994, the car has aged. Yet it still has an air of quality and integrity that contemporary 7 series and S-class fail to match.

In 2002, Audi brought the flagship up to date with the new design language Audi had used on the coupe-like A6, the original TT and the A2. The car was a completely new vehicle, the D3. Everything was designed to be better than the original, to improve as much as technology would allow.

The D3, although facelifted in 2004 to add the Auto Union inspired grille, the car hasn't dated. Yes the design may only be seven years old but the rival designs from their competitors, time has not been so kind. Audi did subtle like no other. Subtly was a quality that owners of large cars wanted. It was an age where money was hidden and not worn. Where labels were on the inside and not diamond encrusted on a belt buckle. People who really had money kept it quiet. Audi became the marque to own, the complete opposite to vulgar.

The D3is a hard act to follow. It's only true weakness was it's dynamic edge on the track and ride quality. Although it is not a needed trait, a sporty drive would be a good return for what can sometimes be a hard ride. The S8 with it's large capacity engine and harder than the normal A8's already hard ride, was meant to take the A8 to another level, to another type of driver.

The S prefix on Audi models are the work of the Quattro AG, the sport division of Audi. Suspension, braking and other hardware are replaced by uprated parts designed to handle the larger engine and its higher performance. The resulting changes alters the character of the cars to produce a quick and dynamic model range, running in parallel to the A prefixed models. Above the S sits the RS prefixed models. These cars are based on the S cars but have unique body panels and have a number of parts made of exotic materials. Engines in the RS models are the most powerful Audi make and are hand built in limited numbers. RS cars become collector's items as the limited run normally produce small numbers of cars, selling at very high prices.

Although there is not a RS 8 model, There is a W12 engined long-wheel-based A8. This is a special car with a number of unique features and trim options. This car, along with the S8 variant showcases the ability the A8 has of creating different types of executive car from the same basic design.

The W12, A8 and S8 all share the D3's ASF construction and one of the best interiors seen on a production car. The interior was a beautiful execution of simplicity and elegance. The jewel was the MMI interface, which reduced the number of buttons needed to do the large amount of tasks the D3 was capable of. The MMI could control everything from the radio to the suspension settings via a colour LCD screen and a mouse like control dial surrounded by six multi tasking buttons. Later cars benefited from a state of the art Bang and Olufsen speaker and amp set and a higher resolution screen. Build quality, another strength Audi has prided itself on, was the best they could produce. The A8 interior was the high of understated luxury.

The D3: the pinnacle of Audi's values and its design language.

Now, in 2009, Audi has deemed it time to replace the D3 with a model that will highlight the companies future direction for the brand.

Enter the D4. Audi are so proud of the new flagship that they have delayed the sale of the A8 for 12 even though the show car unveiled is production ready now.

The D4, in my opinion is a huge let down.

The 1994 D2 was new dawn for Audi and showed their ability to use new cutting edge technology in construction.

The 2002 D3 was a continuation of core design values and a refinement of the unique Audi design language. The interior was where the D3 moved the game on. The layout of the dashboard and use of technology to control the car and it's interaction with the driver was light-years further on than not only the D2 but the competition.

The D4 has not bought anything new or improved over the out going D4. Although there are no parts carried over from the D3, the basic interior layout is the same. Everything has been redesigned but without a new direction. A make over for the sake of it rather than a move forward. The exterior has been simplified but to the detriment of  the presence the D2 and the D3 had. What the new D4 looks like is large 2008 A4 rather than the other way round. The halo effect hasn't worked the way it has on previous Audi models and the way the S-Class improves the image of the C-Class.

The D4is a showcase for Audi. It highlights how it has become a company about sales numbers and not about the core values it has held important since it's rebirth 15 years ago.
The more numbers, the more variants Audi makes, the more diluted the current language has become. It really gives the impression that there were only two people. They could work on four models but now Audi has created more niches, the more over worked the two designers became. Now, when it comes to the replacing the A8, the two where distracted by a new font and logo redesign. Considering this is the 100th year of the company, it priorities do seem to be misaligned. A new font and a new shade to the four rings is the accountants' way of having fun. Audi has become too retrained. Losing the concept of subtle and replacing it with the false god of cautionary conservatism.

With the constant changes of personnel in the design department, the boardroom and within the VW group as the parent organisation, it is obviously going to be difficult to continue in exactly the same vein, but when you set out your stable with pillars built on design, interior quality and innovation, a continuity of staff is exactly what is needed. Audi as a company is suffering from a problem with potentially all car companies could suffer; the time it takes for a complete car range to get into production can be as long as a designer's whole career or worse, the designer could be head-hunted my a rival.
Remember the legendary designer Paul Bracq only designed one generation of Mercedes before he left. Admittedly they did include the Pagoda SL and the 500 Pullman.

The  original TT was the work of J Mays, now of Ford. The A2's Luc Donckerwolke also designed the Skoda Fabia at the same time as the small Audi. He went on to design the Lamborghini Gallardo before taking up the post as SEAT's head of design. The A5 Audi coupe was the last Audi penned by Alfa 156 Designer Walter DeSilva. At his short time at Ingolstadt, he created the second (and disapointing) TT, the 2005 A6 and the 2008 A4, with its droopy rear. Both DeSilva and Donckerwolke are credited with the only truly successful new Audi of this current crop; the R8.

Audi's design department is now under the penmanship of Wolfgang Egger, now Walter DeSilva's head of the entire VW Group's design direction. Egger has famously put out a video of him sketching the then unreleased A5 5-door SportBack hatchback. He has also delivered the Sportback concept with it's five sided grille and is the basis of the upcoming A7 (a larger A5 hatch). The new grille was meant to be on the A8 but it has been so diluted in production that it bares no real link to the concept's.

Let us hope that Wolfgang Egger has the strength to resurrect the Audi brand, which with only 15 years since it's modern rebirth, is now coasting. Audi's recent efforts, it is clear they are resting on their laurels. If Egger can move Audi forward, he would then be needed to stay for more than one model generation otherwise in six to seven years time, I'll be thinking the same as I am now; why has it all gone wrong at Ingolstadt.

Replacing a blown headlight bulb, in pictures....

bonnet off job on an A2,
you'll have to find somewhere to put it, remember, bodywork scratches so very easily

here's the mirror to help you get on with the job

And this is what you're aiming for, the back of the headlight cluster, once the cover's off, which is a case of pulling the clip to the middle of the car, you'll see

so with a flip of a clip and a pull of that black plug...

  out comes the blown bulb (blown in the middle of the coil)

and now to put the cover back, easily the most difficult and frustrating bit of this task...

get this in, narrow end first, blind, you'll be a genius. Just like me. It took me 5 minutes to get the bonnet off, take out the bulb, put the new one in. Then it took me another 15 to 20 minutes getting this bit of black plastic in the right place.

Well, Kolo's now free to drive around after 3pm now without the fuzz getting all shirty about it.

Replacing a blown headlight bulb

On the A2, replacing a headlight bulb, although not without its difficulties, is still easier than doing the same job on any other car I've had.

Having said that, it really depends on with headlight blows. The British nearside headlight has a large space behind it on the diesel model. On the same car, the offside has less space, much less space. Still, even then, it's far more room to get your hand in compared to say, SouferKa, the 1.6 SportKa we also have.

Anyway, here's some tips to do the job yourself, otherwise a mechanic will charge an hours labour unless you're friends.

Right, get the H7 headlight bulb, make sure you don't touch the glass, as oil from your skin will get hot when the bulb is used and apparently can cause the glass to blow up. Hmm, really, really?

Also bring a shaving mirror, the one with a small frame, not the one screwed to the wall.

I thought that silica gel packs cellotaped to the headlight unit cover would help the VW/Audi lightcluster fogging. So far, it's only helped a bit, not by much.

Anyway

I took photos to help...

A quiet week for Kolo

Kolo has been used that much this week. In fact, the A2 was only used to go to tesco's for diesel and then for a drive to comet to look at netbooks.

This has been due to the rain,the constant rain. Kolo still has a blown headlight bulb, and although compared to SouferKa, it's a doddle to change the bulb, it's the fact that the headlight fogs up with the slightest bit of moisture.

This week might be different, the flooding on some of the city's roads will have gone, the debris cleared away as well, yeah a drive might be in order. Even if it back to tesco's from some food shopping or some thing just as dull.

F1 moving too fast?

In my drafts sits a post summarising the driver and team movement in F1.

Although it is the off season and the post is only 5 days old, it is completely out of date.

So now, instead of an essay, I'm just going write a quick few lines here and there, now and then.....

....because Formula One is moving quicker now, than it has in any off season before!

Brawn no more:
As Ross claimed in the BBC season end program, Mercedes only just pipped Ferrari to the post when it came to supplying his eponymous team with an engine, for free (or in Mercedes' case, shares in BrawnGP). Strange to think, if Luca had beaten Norbert to the hotel room that day, then MercedesSilverArrows F1might not exist as of Monday this week. Mercedes have bought out Ross Brawn to rename his team and the fall out has a knock on effect at Ron Dennis place.
McLaren share buy back:
The McLaren Mercedes divorce is more a strange swingers affair than some clear cut split. Mercedes are going to be engine suppliers to McLaren 'til 2015 but Mercedes will drift technical advancements away for themselves, leaving McLaren with more like a customer spec engine by 2015. The SilverArrows team is thought to be an all German outfit, in terms of drivers, Nico Rosberg will lead the line, although not confirmed. The team is still going to be based in Brackley with Brawn and Fry at the helm.
The 'completely by accident' fallout of the all German team, is the creation of an all British team with Button moving to McLaren to second seat with Hamilton. Mercedes have agreed that there shareholding of McLaren stock will be sold back to the Dennis run company and the tiny McLaren holding in Mercedes will be put to the market.
Force India?
As it stands, the Mercedes engine customer will continue to receive Mercedes power for 2010, although it is thought that Force India can go anywhere if they choose.

I'm in two minds about Button moving to McLaren, it was the only team that has the budget to pay the money he wanted. £6m is thought to be what he got in the end, £2m short of his target fee. Still, looking at Hamilton's wage, £18m, there might be the Alonso-like tension at the first winter test.

The wages are a measure of talent? No, well, yes. Button, at the end of a long season, was not the all conquering hero he looked after the initial six starts. To be honest to Button and Brawn, it really was a downhill coast to the finishing line rather than a rude expression of pure talent: the amount of talent Hamilton seems to exude after even the poorest of results.

New Door Hinges

Getting Kolo back from the bodyshop (Glasgow Audi, Hillington), I was greeted by a completely valeted car. They even got the chocolate off from between the passenger seat and the centre console.
Now, it wasn't just the warranty work they did for me. As they took the front doors off, they asked to replace the straps that stop the door from flying open. Oh, ok I thought, here we go. But in all fairness, they were not going to charge for labour, so it'll be the cheapest time to do it. Quote, £32, actual cost after VAT, £29.
Hmm, cheaper than they said. Shh, I've strangely just saved £3 and received a £20 valet. They even dressed the tyres!
Sadly, it's not all good news, Kolo lost a headlight bulb, £3* or so online.
So all in all, it's been ok this week.

(*or so I thought, I got a pair of halogen H7 for £4.95. But the cheapest single bulb, £6.99. pff, the internet hey)